No one knows me. __ I heard the whispers of the night _ who was saying that, _ the sun had asked the spirit of wisdom: __Who is it? __ Replied the spirit of wisdom; __ after a short silence: __ A light greater than light! __ The one who enlightened the sun _ by coming over, __ a light that didn’t leave out the moon, _ too. __ Extended the meaning of paradise on earth, _ in a way that symbolised the beauty __ of the paradise of heavens, __ the one known by the angels.
I __ am a homosexual man!
Freedom, _ is the backbone _ of the bond we are passing to our next generations. __ The bond of the route _ we have passed through, __ a route _ that was worth it.
I seek for freedom.
I admire freedom; __ because it is being admired _ by those who weren’t wanted by anyone themselves, _ while claiming freedom for everyone! __ Those who existed without having someone to back them up. __ Those who were looking for cures for their scars, _ without having a balm that had been provided to them by others. __ Those who were composing their love _ without having words that were of meanings to the others, __ those who were… __ suffering! __ Those who are suffering _ without having others noticing _ that they are trying to set free a world _ that does not include them. __ I admire freedom.
Freedom creates the future, __ and the futures will include the queers. __ The future always includes the knowledgeable. __ Those who look into themselves _ to find out an answer to the question “Why have I become like this? ”. __ The futures belongs to those _ who look in the past to find out __ who has been like them? __ and look into present to find out __ who is like them now, __ and look into future, __ that we want to be a part of the future, _ too. We, _ the homosexuals, are always standing on a bridge. __ A bridge that’s entitled “Self-Inquiry”. __ A question that those great names like Rumi __ have reached for its answers: “Where have I come from, _ what for? Where am I going to?_ would you reveal me a land?”
Now, _ standing upon our feet, _ we are willing to construct a river to connect us to ourselves. ___ In a boisterous, _ tall future, __ the one who knows _ where has he been standing throughout the history, __ the one who knows that he doesn’t exists, _ but he must, _ the one who knows _ that he must build the future with his own hands, _ and for that he must build himself, _ first; __ the one who not only knows, _ but pushes himself forward! _ how could one say that in the future, he shan’t be standing tall?
The one who asks _ from deep himself, __ with all his being: “Who _ on _ earth _ am I?”. __ If he does not deserve _ to hold the flag of victory, _ then what does he deserve? __ Those whose identities are tied _ with their proofs of existence, __ and their existence is fastened _ to the love they claim for everyone!
And the others, __ the spirit of wisdom pictured as such: _ those who praise their idiocy, __ in a way that the knowledgeable praise their knowledge. __ Those who demand _ for a dreadful suffering-house _ that has been painted _ by the shining blood of those hung from gallows _ and seek for freedom _ by calumniating the homosexuals.
This is by far _ more difficult than witchery. __ Witchery _ can be beaten _ by the lynx eyes of science. __ Though, calumniation _ has not even been beaten __ by the peacemakers _ of the history. __ And how many are there _ that have been subject to these calumniations throughout their lives? __ Though, from the craze of reaching for freedom, _ they never polluted their hearts with hatred. __ They are now looking for YOUR headlines, __ ladies and gentlemen. __ Oh, by the way, what’s up about “freedom”?
Do you know _ of the scars __ that getting rid of them is a never-ending hope for us?
Oh __ , by the way, have you any idea __ of the sour, intense look of a mother who humiliates her child __ for not being like other children, __ for being __ a “homosexual”?
Do you know of someone _ who, __ neither in the streets and lanes of a city, __ nor in the maze of the foliated books, __ nor in the long trend of history, _ can he find a single song _ of what _ is shouting deep _ inside him?
Do you know of the pain _ of the “I love you” phrases _ that exist, _ but not noticed? __ When you cannot describe them __ because they don’t know __ and they don’t understand, __ because they don’t see!
Do you have any idea that __ when the verification _ and endorsement _ of a teenager’s parents about his emotional identity __ is not alongside him, _ how much _ his humanity is killed _ within the moments of his youth?
Did you know _ the tears of the children _ who’ve come from beyond the lines of history, __ but they have no idea who they actually are? __ and there is no one to tell them that, __ hey, you are not limited _ to your sexuality!
Did you know, __ that even YOU don’t know!
Because you have never seen, __ you have never suffered __ from all those pains, __ and you expect to hear _ and accept that: __ indeed, those who see the gallows _ tied with their existence and destiny, __ actually do suffer.
Are you aware __ of the life _ that’s been spent _ in loneliness and silence, __ without any confabulation _ and sympathy of the coevals? __ Aware of the years _ spent within praying-circles _ hoping for a cure? __ The frequently asked question of __ “Why has god created me like this?”. __ A life that was worth the same as the life that “YOU” have spent, _ and will be spending, _ throughout which _ you’ve never doubted upon that most basic joy of humanity, __ love!
Have you ever been informed of _ the “religious beliefs”, _ those that probably make no difference in your very lives, _ are the most sensitive _ and innermost beliefs _ of the people _ whose cultures are tied with religions. __ The beliefs through which they marry, __ they give birth, __ they name their children, __ and they spend their entire lives with! __ These are the beliefs __ that also exist deep within the homosexuals _ rising from those cultures. __ Outside, _ he is considered as a damned inferno; __ and inside, _ is where he cannot believe that __ “Yes, I also have the right to live…”.
One of the most important issues _ that I have been dealing with as an activist,__ has been getting people to talk! __ Some of who are not willing to discus their feelings and issues __ not only with me, _ as a person who understands them thoroughly, as their support worker, __ but even with the officers dealing with them, _ and their asylum claims. __ And yet their asylum claims are rejected _ because it is not “well-founded”. __ It is to be realised that _ these people need help, __ not only within the society as a member, _ but also to cure their traumatic experiences. __ People speak of the rights of animals, _ nature, _ our planet, _ but they seem to have forgotten the human being. __ Just like always, _ to prevent falling from this side of the roof, __ we have fallen from the other side!
I am talking about _ getting rid of a pain that you, __ ladies and gentlemen, __ never realise or perceive. __ The pain of not being noticed, __ neither at the extensive trend of humanity _ as a human being, __ nor at the mirror of the society _ as a member, __ nor at the eyes of a pair of lovely parents, __ as sons and daughters, _ who deserve to be loved as they are.
We seek freedom __ within the mirror of time, _ in getting and get involved in creating better days, __ within which we share __ the same wish as you do!
Support us, __ hence if the homosexuals _ are unable to reveal _ the value of their state of humanity, __ if they are being shredded and neglected within the taboos _ tied with their sexuality; __ they become able to breathe the air of freedom, __ and within their remaining breaths, __ reveal themselves within the values of humanity, __ throughout which they leave their heritage __ for the future generations, __ perhaps its rainbow __ brings in __ “an identity” __ for those sharing the same pain.
Written by By: Ali Doosti
Translated from Persian by: Pouria